i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize