We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
