I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
