True but thats because hes a fetus.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
