my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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