my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize