Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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