I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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