Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
