Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
