I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
