You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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