Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
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u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize