Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize