why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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