Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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