I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
