Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize