He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
