Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
