So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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