pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There's always time for handjobs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
