I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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