I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My liver just had a heart attack.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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