what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
