our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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