The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
