I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
