Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My dick has a subreddit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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