There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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