i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
