garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
