even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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