he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
