fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
