I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize