Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
