I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
