Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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