Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
