CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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