Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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