Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...