There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS