he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.