i only shaved half my leg
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just sucked dick on a ferry