I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
