Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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