And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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