Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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