First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea