please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.