You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.