i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid