some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize