Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
