I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
