I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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