you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
