didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
