no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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